Third, they tie all of the theories and skills together by providing a model and an extended example. Second, they examine the key skills of talking, listening, and acting together. First, they present the tools necessary to create the conditions in oneself and others that make dialogue the path of least resistance. They try to help readers achieve this in the following sequence. These resources, however, operate on the belief that good dialogue skills are learnable. Most do not handle these situations well, for a variety of reasons. Conversations like are not only challenging, but have a huge impact on the quality of one’s personal or congregational life. In the first volume, Crucial Conversations (2002, revised 2011), the authors define a crucial conversation as a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong. your spouse thinks you were flirting with another woman at a neighborhood block party), most of the skills and principles translate quite well. Although many of the illustrations are not frequently experienced in the church (e.g. The authors provide tools for use in work, home, and family which translate well into church leadership. Not all churches will be open to the level of candor encouraged by these resources, but leaders who are serious about missional effectiveness will recognize the need for a climate of truthful communication about what really matters. Those who join their site can get book excerpts and other tools. The authors also manage a web community, Vital Smarts. It is one of the best set of resources for equipping people to engage difficult conversations productively. These are New York Times best-selling resources that resulted from interviews with over 25,000 people to discover those who were most effective in difficult conversations, over 10,000 hours in observing these people and documenting what they saw, and then testing their insights by training over 300,000 people. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations McGraw-Hill, 2011.Ĭompanion volume: Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Second Edition.
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